Mary Muncil wrote a lovely post today that spoke about the holidays and the “big day phenomenon,” or the ways that the holidays can trigger high hopes and disappointment. She urges us to have a welcoming heart, no matter how things show up.

For years I would weep at Christmas.  I had a bad case of the Big Day thing.  I missed my father, who passed in 1993.  I missed my childhood. I missed Minnesota, which in fact I had left as soon as I could (no ocean).  In the process of all that weeping, I also missed what was there.

I still have twinges, but they are milder, and there is more joy, more appreciation.  I still miss my father, but I can feel him here in a deeper way now.  I can feel myself more deeply as well.

One thing that has helped me is letting go of some of the rigidity around the Christmas rituals:  The Formulaic Christmas.  How things should look and feel.  Where they go.  When they happen.  Not that there aren’t rituals, they just don’t have the big urgent charge around them that they used to.  My Christmases now have a more improvisatory swing to them, which helps me to connect to the heart of the matter.

ps.  the price for Breaking into Blossom goes up on Friday. $75 until then.