Tag Archives: horses

Mar22

nelson now

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Today I visited a farm that has an active, heart-centered rescue program  as well as a training program for area kids. The daughter of the director told me about a competition for training wild Mustangs: 90 days to get the horse from wild to being under saddle.  The young woman is a consummate, compassionate horsewoman.  Nevertheless, that made my stomach lurch.

Here is why.  This month marks a year that I have been working with Nelson.  When I met Nelson, he was pretty wild, but not just-off-the-plains wild.  He had been living at a sanctuary for several years.  He was not able to be handled, but he was not climbing the fences either.  What I am most proud of during this year is not the big strides that Nelson has made in terms of being able to be handled, being calm, being groomed, able to take direction, or any of those training goals that we have accomplished.

I am most proud that at no time  have I done anything that was against the horse.  I never forced him, never frightened him.  And I never gave up.  I never got angry.  It is not that I have never gotten angry at a horse.  I have.  I am not proud of those moments – usually when I am riding.  But with Nelson, I never went there.  I knew that I would lose him, and because I am not holding him with ropes or reins, losing him was always on my mind.  And in not losing him, I also did not lose myself.

As a result, my most joyful time with a horse is not with my own horses but with Nelson.  The difference is that here is more being with Nelson than doing.  I am not readying him for riding, or competition, or any human use.  I am learning his language.  He is learning mine.  My intention is that he feel safe, can be calm with a human, and can have an ongoing, friendly relationship.  Remember that because he is a stallion, Nelson lives alone, apart from other horses, in his big field.

Being able to work this way is a luxury, I understand.  Sometimes, things have to happen faster.  But that is not the way that I want to work with him, or any horse for that matter. Or my children.  Or myself.  More being, less doing across the board.

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Mar18

moving landscapes

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The Four Riders from Nir Nadler & Chaja Hertog on Vimeo.

My friend, the filmmaker, Alla Kovgan, sent me this video.  There are things that I like a great deal about it, but oddly, the horses feel as if they are missing.  Nevertheless, I felt it worth a share.

I am interested:  what do you see?  What do you feel?

Feb28

what he sees

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A lot of times I will just stand with Nelson and look where he is looking.  I want to know more about his point of view, what is interesting to him, and what he sees.

I never really know.  But that is the point.  We cannot know what another sees or feels unless they tell us directly.  We make assumptions (which are fictions) and then pursue a course of action or inaction based on those assumptions.  More fiction.

When I am with Nelson, I don’t pretend to know what is interesting to him, or how he sees the world.  Sometimes he will be very clear in horse language (movement).  A spook generally means something was scary.  Coming close means that he feels safe or he wants a treat or both.

I like that things with Nelson are very basic.  I spend a great deal of time complicating and elaborating in many other parts of my life.  Being with the horses is a chance to step away from all of that, to get clear, and have a conversation in the language of skin, muscle and bone.  And heart, and heart.

Jan19

on not figuring it out

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Photo:  Claire Glover

Amadeo is my talented, complicated 17 year-old Andalusian gelding.  I have had him since he was 8, when I imported him from Spain.  He has never been an easy ride for me, and about six months ago, he made the decision that he did not want me to ride him.  To be more specific, he decided that only Brandi Rivera, his very talented trainer (and mine) should ride him.  We confirmed all of this with an animal communicator. She told us that he wanted to show off his skill and beauty, which includes the gorgeous flying changes, pirouettes and half passes that he is doing.

Brandi is now pregnant and not riding.  So Amadeo, this brilliant and opinionated horse, is unemployed.  And because he is not turned out with another horse because he can get rambunctious, he is both unemployed and lonely.

My happiest scenario for Amadeo is that someone would love him, like to lease him and enjoy riding and spending time with him. Deo loves to work – he enjoys that connection with himself and a rider – he is just very specific about how that looks and feels.  I love him, but I am not that rider – something that has taken me some time and some tears to accept.  If you are interested in meeting Deo, you can see him here, and follow that contact information.

My challenge in all of this is to not obsess about figuring out what will happen next for Deo.  To not focus on what is making me unhappy, but to feel my way toward a beautiful outcome for both of us.  And to keep all of that general, because getting specific creates more thinking, more working at it, more obstacles.