Tag Archives: dressage

Feb29

still sitting

Posted on by

Still sitting even in the snow, or maybe especially in the snow.  Sitting requires more rigor and devotion when it is cold and windy.

There are days when I do not want to do the work, when I feel that it will take too much from me, or that I do not have enough to give to it. The work could be anything:  the writing, the riding, the dancing.

I went to the barn early today to ride because a snowstorm was coming.  For me, riding is sitting.  Riding is practice.  Riding is that combination of rigor and devotion.  Today was one of those days when I did not think I had enough to give.  My body felt sore and stiff after several days of riding the big, powerful Friesian, Sanne.

At one point in the ride, I wanted to stop and say, “Wait, this is too hard, I cannot do it, I do not know how.”  In fact, I think I did stop and say something like that.  I could feel how the muscles in my arms were braced, how the pieces of my riding were not flowing together, felt I was coming apart, both mentally and physically.

Here is the thing.  It was less my body than my mind.  It was that old doubting, questioning, fearful part of my noisy mind, the part that has gotten up and left the meditation hall even when my body is still sitting there (in the saddle, holding the reins.)

Somehow I did recover myself.  Here is what I did.  I stopped trying the same old thing, and began to improvise my ride.  A circle here, a softening there, a change of direction:  change, change, change.  I shifted my attention to the stiff, unyielding parts of my body and invited suppleness there.

I think this is what it means to be a spiritual athlete.  Nurturing an athleticism that is not about big muscles or marathon sitting, but the kind of athleticism that is about endurance and steadfastness.  About finding a way in, every day.  Offering the best, every day.

SHARE & EMAIL
Jan19

on not figuring it out

Posted on by

Photo:  Claire Glover

Amadeo is my talented, complicated 17 year-old Andalusian gelding.  I have had him since he was 8, when I imported him from Spain.  He has never been an easy ride for me, and about six months ago, he made the decision that he did not want me to ride him.  To be more specific, he decided that only Brandi Rivera, his very talented trainer (and mine) should ride him.  We confirmed all of this with an animal communicator. She told us that he wanted to show off his skill and beauty, which includes the gorgeous flying changes, pirouettes and half passes that he is doing.

Brandi is now pregnant and not riding.  So Amadeo, this brilliant and opinionated horse, is unemployed.  And because he is not turned out with another horse because he can get rambunctious, he is both unemployed and lonely.

My happiest scenario for Amadeo is that someone would love him, like to lease him and enjoy riding and spending time with him. Deo loves to work – he enjoys that connection with himself and a rider – he is just very specific about how that looks and feels.  I love him, but I am not that rider – something that has taken me some time and some tears to accept.  If you are interested in meeting Deo, you can see him here, and follow that contact information.

My challenge in all of this is to not obsess about figuring out what will happen next for Deo.  To not focus on what is making me unhappy, but to feel my way toward a beautiful outcome for both of us.  And to keep all of that general, because getting specific creates more thinking, more working at it, more obstacles.

Sep17

Pimp My Ride

Posted on by

This is a photo of my beautiful stallion Capprichio at Dressage at Devon in 2004.  He is ridden by Sabine Schut-Kery and dancing with Ana Ayromlou.  Today he is is almost 20 years old, and our riding is cooked down, basic.  A little trot, a little canter, long companionable walks across the beautiful, grassy meadows.

If I put on music when I am riding him, I can feel him fill up, his neck arches, he starts to prance and blow, remembering all his chops – the passage, piaffe, the pirouettes and rears.  I love that feeling – all that wildness and energy coming up under me.   But dancing isn’t good for his ligaments or his joints, so we let that wave pass, and go back to being our companionable selves.  In my heart and mind though, he is always dressed to kill, and we are dancing together, full throttle.  Even just standing together gazing at the landscape, our six legs on the ground.

Sep6

the whole, the parts

Posted on by

After I wrote the post on Nelson, talking about the “basic, homogenized body”, I thought about the other side of that coin:  the separate and distinct flavors of the body.  A little like the difference between Western cuisine, which strives for combinations of flavors, and Japan, where there is more of an emphasis on meals consisting of distinct foods, each retaining their own individual taste and appearance.

When I first started to ride, I was overwhelmed by all of the sensory information from my own body and the horse’s body – like trying to listen to about five hundred radio stations at once.  After about fifteen years of sifting and sorting, I can (often, not always) selectively tune into one channel at a time.   It happens quickly – like a momentary check in:  my hips, my legs, his mouth (I feel that in my hands through the reins), each of his legs, my spine, and so on.  This requires a light, quick body-mind, one that doesn’t bear down or get stuck in one place.  No over-thinking, no aggressive fixing. Corrections happen in a flow, awareness is dextrous and global.  That is the goal.

I can feel my lovely trainer, Brandi Rivera, smiling as she reads this.  She has seen me get very stuck, heavy-handed and frustrated.  When that happens, I am usually not tasting or feeling much of anything.  The parts have gotten thick and mushy, like a bad soup. At that moment, I find it helps to tune into the fluid base of the breath, and from there let the mind bloom out to the feast of flavors once again.  It’s the same when dancing – sensing the whole while feeling the relationships and qualities of the parts.