Category Archives: the dance

to sing or not to sing

Pearl’s peonies – from the Sioux Falls farm to my place 50 years later

The song I have come to sing
remains unsung to this day.
I have spent my life
stringing and unstringing
my instrument.

                                           Rabindranath Tagore

I found this poem by Tagore, and it happened to be on a day when I was hopelessly entangled in the minutia of my life.  I had spent about an hour and a half trying to figure out the signature on my emails after I had been told by a friend that the links on the current one were not working. Or sifting through a bunch of stuff in preparation for a move.  Pulling weeds out of the walk way in preparation for a showing of our house.

I want to be singing the song (dancing the dance) pretty much all of the time and find that too much of my day is taken up with the stringing and unstringing of my squeaky instrument.

Part of the problem is having too many projects that I want to do.  Deciding which to do first.  Another part is feeling overwhelmed by all of them, and therefore procrastinating and finding more ways of stringing/unstringing.  I wish that I could say that the stringing and unstringing are actually meditative and prepare me for the song, like the Zen master who paints a single perfect Sumi circle at the end of his life.  But I don’t think that is the case.  I think that I am just finding ways not to sing.

Yesterday I went to New York City to meet with two booking agents, both of whom used to represent me and my dance company.  I told them that I was developing an evening length solo work.  Which is true.  But it is in its infancy, and today I feel overwhelmed by the whole idea, the whole project.

Maybe I won’t sing (dance) after all.  I am sure that the front walk needs more weeding.

Or maybe I will find a way to notice when I have gotten swallowed by my preoccupation with the details and learn to lift my eyes to the horizon, taking a broader, more breathing view of the possibilities that lay before me.

 

 

 

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performance time

Still from the video dance Dive by Paula Josa-Jones and Ellen Sebring

Tuesday night at Helsinki in Hudson, NY, I will perform a solo for the first time in thirteen years.  I am excited, nervous and pleased to be doing it.

It’s part of an open mic series hosted by Ryder Cooley.  I hope you will join us.  8-9:30.  See you there.

sea serpent

My friend Suzanne sent me this video. I found it both disturbing and irresistible.   It immediately set off a storm of video surfing on YouTube for more about Continuum. What I found was exciting.

For no particular reason, I have avoided Continuum Movement for many, many years. The founder of Continuum, Emilie Conrad  calls the movement a connection to our “spiritual bio-world.”  She says that the undulating wave movements that originate in the fluids of our bodies link us to each other and our environment. I think that it is time that I dive into those waters.

In the conversation about the text of the body, this has a place.  I wrote yesterday about Abraham Verghese’s experience of being massaged by a kalari practitioner in Kerala.  The post-massage state-of-body that he described feels like what I see in this video.

My appetite for movement has taken a big leap because I have started to prepare to perform solo for the first time in thirteen years.  I don’t know exactly why it has been so long.  But because it has been so long, I am voracious.  There is a ferocity and a clarity to this new work that I have not felt before.  You can see me next Tuesday evening, 8 pm at Club Helsinki in Hudson, NY.

 

 

the text of the body

Photo:  Pam White

There was a beautiful article this week in the New York Times Style Magazine.  It was written by Abraham Verghese about a journey to visit his birthplace in Kerala. The last part of the article was about his experience of having a therapeutic oil massage by a kalari masseur.  Verghese is a physician and a novelist.  His reflections on his body after the massage were wonderful to me:

I have been a physician since I was 24 and taught taught medical students the catechism of the body for over two decades, just as it was handed down to me by my teachers. Yet suddenly I was filled with uncertainty about the validity of everything I had been teaching. The kalari way of “seeing” the body was as foreign to me as Chinese meridians or a shaman’s way of seeing spirits or auras. And though the Western method in which I was trained is the anatomical way, the scientific way, it seemed to me that our way of “knowing” the body leaves the patient feeling that the visit is not about his body but instead is about the images and other surrogate markers of function that stand in for the body. At the level of doctor and patient, at the level of the handling of the body, and at the level of what transpires when we put our hands on patients to examine them, I wondered if we often fail our patients.

Standing there in my loincloth, it was as if I were a Talmudic scholar, or an exegete whose life was given to understanding “Finnegan’s Wake,” only to wake up decades later to find I had no deeper knowledge of God or of James Joyce. My text is the body, and at that moment I felt as if I knew so little about the body and even less about my own body, the specific collection of skin, bone and organs from which, by some alchemy of cognition, emotion, a beating heart and a functional larynx, my words, my text and these fears emerge.

But this was the surprise: the one thing I had felt fairly certain about, the Western craft of medicine, now seemed lacking and superficial. I had done some exploring of the soul, but the study of the body would have to begin again with new purpose and vigor. God give me mastery of the body, is what I prayed on the flight back. Give me body and soul. I took a vow.

My text is also the body.  I have taught dancers the catechism of the body, the holy book of movement for most of my life.  Looking back on the years of teaching, I also feel that at times I have failed my students.  In the beginning, what I transmitted to them was how to achieve a perfection of form, a physical ideal.  Ultimately, that did not work well for me.  I could not achieve that perfection myself.  What I am teaching now is how to push into the mystery, how to listen, how to wait, how to allow the body to reveal its delicate truths.  So Verghese’s revelations were precious to me – like meeting a fellow traveler on the path.