Category Archives: the body

Apr16

love day

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Today Pam and I drove up to visit Bedlam Farm, home of Jon Katz and Maria Wulf.  Our friendship with these two amazing people has grown over the past few months.  Jon is an inspiration and a mentor for me, a budding blogger and writer.  With some trepidation I had asked him to look at a couple chapters of my book, Horse Dancing:  Artists, the body and the bond between horses and humans.  He is pushing me to show myself more, to open more, to step out of the shadows.  I thought I was.  I can see now that I am not, that there is more to show, more to share.

I also wanted to meet Rocky, the 30-year old pony that lives at the future Bedlam Farm.  Jon has posted some beautiful photos of Rocky with me today on his Facebook page and his blog.  To me, Rocky felt like the sleeping prince waiting to be kissed to awaken.  Jon and Maria had been giving him some soft kisses, but Rocky needed a big smooch to wake up.  He has been alone for a long time.

This is what I loved about today, what broke my heart open.  He was ready.  Not that he had just been hanging around waiting, but when he was touched, really handled, it was as if his body remembered all of that and opened to it like a flower in the sun.  I think that is a testament to how deeply he has been loved.  He became animated, eager and responsive with his herd of four humans.

Nelson, the mustang that I work with is like this now.  He wants to be with.  He is relaxed and happy, interested in whatever the next thing is. His life feels pretty good to him now.

I think this is what we all want, each of us in our own way.  To be with, to be touched, to be cherished, to be one.  I know it is what I want.  I am not always able to express that.  I don’t always give myself over to being loved the way Rocky did today.  That is his gift to me today.

Maria said that usually after his apple and a bit of brushing, Rocky wanders away. She said that was a relief, because it marked an end to their mutual commitment.  Rocky was wandering off because there wasn’t a compelling reason to stay.  Now he will stay.  And so will they.  He has felt us, and he knows there is more.  More love, more connection, more of all of us.

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Apr12

maia’s way

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My friend Polly Styron shared this with me. It is BEAUTIFUL.

Shot in Fire Island, New York, this film (4min. 23 sec) captures the secrets of eternal youth as Maia Helles, a Russian ballet dancer turns 95 but still remains resolutely independent, healthy and as fit as a forty year old. Made by Julia Warr, artist and film maker met Maia on a plane 4 years ago and became utterly convinced by the benefits of her daily exercise routine, which Maia perfected, together with her Mother, over 60 years ago, long before exercise classes were ever invented. (2011)

Film by Julia Warr
Music by Lola Perrin

juliawarr.com

Apr10

practice makes (im)perfect

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Last week I went to see Nelson.  We are celebrating our one-year friendship anniversary.

Working with Nelson, one of the things that has eluded me pretty consistently is leading him.  He does not think that being led is a good idea.  And I don’t feel like trying to convince him of that with any kind of force is a good idea.

But last week, I set an intention to lead him.  As I got out of the car, I started to pick up the rope halter and lead, and then opted instead for a Tellington Balance rein – a piece of rope with a leather strap attached that can be buckled to create a circle.   After I groomed him, I got out the balance rein and looped it around his neck.  He was fine with that,  we have done that many times before.  I fastened it high on his neck so that about 18″ of strap was hanging down.  Then I started to walk, giving him a little tiny bit of pressure on the line as I stepped off.

To my astonishment, he started walking with me, nice as you please.  This was the day after my cat Musia died, so I was pretty tender.  I felt like crying.  We stopped and walked and stopped and walked and changed directions and wandered all over his six acre field.  No problem.

I realized that all the things I had been doing with him before had led to this.  We were practicing.  But there must have been some subtle piece that was missing – some imperfection in the practice and in my movement that didn’t tell him as clearly as I could have, THIS is what I would like us to do.

That day, I had a really clear picture of what I wanted.  I wish I could say I had no doubt.  That would not be true.   I had no expectation.  And I was OK if it didn’t work.  Practice doesn’t necessarily make perfect.  If you are practicing the wrong thing, or rehearsing the wrong state of mind, or forcing, no amount of practice will make that right.

The perfection that I practice with Nelson is this:  Our agreement is that if it is OK with him, we will go for it.  If it isn’t, we will not.  That doesn’t mean that we don’t try hard, and work through some initial resistance.  It does mean that we both have to feel successful and balanced at the end of our time together.  And yes, we do.

Apr7

rebirth

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Photo by Pam White

from Please Call Me by My True Names

by Thich Nhat Hanh

Don’t say that I will depart tomorrow —
even today I am still arriving.

Look deeply: every second I am arriving
to be a bud on a Spring branch,
to be a tiny bird, with still-fragile wings,
learning to sing in my new nest,
to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
to fear and to hope.

The rhythm of my heart is the birth and death
of all that is alive.