Category Archives: improvisation life

stepping into the void

Georgia O’Keefe

I am back in the studio.  Not the arena.  New dances, no horses.  For the past thirteen years, I have been dancing with horses.  That work is still extant, but I am drawn back to the theater.  For the first time in that many years, I am making solo work and duet work.  It feels exhilarating, wild, unhinged in the sense that the horse is not there to shape things, to create a certain kind of boundary, intention and necessity for the work.

I have been doing Authentic Movement more too.  Setting my witness-goddesses in the corner, and letting them hold the space, hold me.  There is weeping,  There is opening, there is stillness and darkness and light and quiet.

When I was teaching at Boston University in September, a student asked me where I start.  How do I begin a dance?  I liked that question, and reached back all the way to the beginning of making work for answers that were as varied as an elephant is from a mouse.  An image, a feeling in the body, a poem, a painting, some music, a dancer’s movement, something observed, something read, something felt, a place, a journey, a memory, a fragment of gesture that keeps interrupting, demanding. Something quiet, something loud, something big, something small.  Welcome all.

I am letting myself be called now.  Maybe it is that I am older, but I am surrendering to these calls more easily now, letting myself be shaped, asking fewer questions, and allowing the wild body to speak.

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the neurotic traveller

  1. Pack carry on luggage.
  2. Make a list of what is in each carry on and place in outside pocket.
  3. Remember passport!  (Forgot it once when traveling form Martha’s Vineyard – retrieving it involved two taxis, a ferry and two trips to the airport . . . )
  4. Place toiletries in small plastic bags.
  5. Things to carry with me on the flight:  all medications for allergies, digestive enzymes, vitamin C, antihistimines, zantac, immune support, touch up make up. . . what else???
  6. Repack carry on and sort for things you need all the time and things that you might need later.
  7. Where is my eye mask?
  8. Where did we put the travel pillows?
  9. Repack main bag, it is colder than we originally thought.
  10. Where is the itinerary?
  11. Remember to buy a novel at the airport.
  12. Repack carry on bag.  Can’t find anything.
  13. Should I bring my computer?
  14. Should I try being offline for 10 days?
  15. Could I stand that?
  16. Is the iPad enough?
  17. Can I post my blog from the iPad?
  18. Repack carry on.

 

patterns

I think that all mind patternings are expressed in movement, through the body. And that all physical moving patterns have a mind.  

  – Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen

This is my granddaughter and her guardian, the Spanish Galgo, Cho.  As she was learning to crawl, Cho was there.  He was just present, and I don’t think he was aware or cared that she was making a huge developmental leap.  Laila did not just learn to crawl.  She learned to FLY on all fours.  And that bodily exuberance is, to my heart and eye, the pattern of her young exuberant mind.  I credit her mother, my daughter, fully here.  She is the unwavering in her devotion, her attention, her enthusiasm and her love.

Since my other daughter ran away, I have felt some other kinds of patterns emerge in myself.  Patterns of not breathing, not moving – the immobilizing effects of trauma.  Some days it takes a a moment-by-moment act of will or faith to keep moving forward.  And yet what choice is there?  Forward is all there is, right?

This came from Abraham the other day, and just in time.  “The best you can do for anyone is to thrive fully and be willing to explain to anyone who asks how it is that you are thriving, and what it is that you’ve discovered—and then, just relax and trust that all truly is well.”

There is nothing that I can do for or about my lost daughter at this time.  There is much I can and must do for myself.  Breathe in, breathe out is the start.

embodying with horses

Pam White and Apache in an Embodied Horsemanship clinic at The Equus Effect

We had a great day at The Equus Effect yesterday!  Wonderful human-horse connections happening during the workshop.  For me, it was a beautiful opportunity to share and connect the improvisational movement work that I have been doing with humans for years, to the discovery of a deeper sense of embodiment and presence with the horses.  At one point in the early afternoon, I looked around the round pen and saw everyone in a moving, connecting, breathing dance with themselves and their horses – this quality of joy and curiosity.  And what a beautiful location!  Surrounded by the golden trees in the hills of Sharon, CT.

A big thank you to Jane Strong and The Equus Effect for hosting us and lovely horses Apache, Dutch and Tango for joining us.  Watch for more workshops coming this spring!