Category Archives: improvisation life

silver lines

Jaguar

From a friend’s post on Facebook, I learned about animal communicator Anna Breytenbach and a black leopard named Spirit who lives at a sanctuary named Jukani in South Africa.  I watched this amazing film about Anna’s work, which ends with the story of her work with Spirit. (Don’t skip to the end, watch the whole thing – it is life-changing.) That film included her mentor, Jon Young, an American tracker and naturalist.

During the film, Young spoke about the intuitive way that he tracks animals, and how at some point, he no longer uses his eyes to look at tracks, but instead begins to see something called “silver lines.”  Later, an African tracker spoke of the same silver lines, and described feeling very distinct guiding sensations in his body that told him which direction to move.  As Young and Breytenbach moved though the landscape, you could see both of them feeling into and opening to the energetic essence of the animal they were tracking. It seemed that they were harmonizing, letting their bodies, the landscape and the animal come into a single, aligned vibration.

Watching, I yearned to be able to intuit in that way, to feel that sense of connection with the animal that exists at the level of quanta, where we are all just vibration.  Then I realized that they were describing the way that I make dances.  I feel into the vibrational heart of the character or movement.  I let myself be moved.  I am listening for a resonance and attunement that tells me when I am “on.”  Those are my silver lines.

With the horses, doing can get in the way.  That is why I spend more and more time in being, even in the saddle.  I love to ride, and I ride every day. I find that more and more my riding goal is about relationship, focusing on balance, awareness and  tracking.  Tracking is being aware of my breathing, the horse’s breathing, our moving connection and our emotional alignment.  Tracking means looking for the silver lines that tell me when we are in sync, where the communication has opened out into pure vibration, below the level of thought and efforting.  When that happens, I feel myself vibrating into joy, here now, feeling it all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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inspiration 2

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Lest we think that love, purpose and inspiration have to be deadly serious. Here are some Finnish elders showing us how to play.

Photographers, Karoline Hjorth and Riitta Ikonen came up with something truly peculiar and special, in their photo series Eyes As Big As Plates.

stillness, action, quieting the storms

hand-of-buddha

Today’s meditation with Deepak spoke of stillness and discovering how stillness can inspire action.  Another way of thinking about that is how stillness can penetrate our action.

When I am teaching movement, both with and without horses, I often ask students and clients to become intentionally still.  I call it the “intentional pause” strategy.  Yesterday, with my spooky horse Amadeo, I had to do a lot of intentional pausing.  What I noticed right away was that when we walked into the barn and stopped, I was holding my breath, and that I was not in my legs.  Neither was he.  We were both pretty high-headed.  So I waited, just breathing and stroking his withers, until I felt all the effervescence go out of my legs and felt my feet sinking into the arena footing.  He and I both took a lot of big breaths.  All through the ride, he kept losing his mind – spooking, balling up, his ears like two crazy satellite dishes spinning on the top of his head. It felt a little like tryng to ride this bad boy:

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Each time, I would slow, pause, and stand still and breathing until I felt him settle.  Over and over, until I could feel that stillness start to come into the movement.  Storms moving off, light breaking through.

On Wednesday, I had a wonderful improvisational session with percussionist John Marshall.  He an I are percolating some work together – my dancing and his playing.  We began with the strategy of alternating movement or sound with stillness.  Each of us alternated in our own way, sometimes overlapping, sometimes in response to the other, but basically holding the thread of our own impulses for either movement/sound or stillness.  It was a way of being in conscious relationship while also listening inwardly – holding inner and outer attention simultaneously.

What about the stress storms?  Emotional weather?   Too often, we get caught in the winds of continual, unremitting exertion, busyness, rumination,worry, rage – whatever.  What I am finding is that I have to consciously weave moments of intentional stillness into all of that, as best I can.  This morning, I kept repeating the serenity prayer.  Other times, I lie down on the floor for a few soft, conscious breaths.  Sometimes I go into the studio, and let my body speak in movement, in stillness.  Little recuperations instead of big collapses.

Where do I feel the purest bliss?  With the horses.  Where can I drop everything except my love and my openness?  With the horses or basking in the sea.  I am looking for more ways to expand that bliss, to find little pockets of it everywhere.  Like the idea of little recuperations, little moments of renewing, refreshing stillness, even in action.

 

I am free #2

rylance-630Mark Rylance in Twelfth Night.

“Where most of us succumb to the limiting power of self-preservation, Shakespeare rushed toward the enormous freedom that can come with “why”—the spirit of inquiry that jump-starts the imagination.”

Hilton Als, The Mirror Has Two Faces, The New Yorker

I was struck by this quotation in The New Yorker from a review of the current production of Twelfth Night at the Belasco. I got to thinking about the “limiting power of self-preservation.”  What does that mean?  To me, it brings to mind living safe, trying to protect against disaster, loss, injury or heartbreak.  Right away, I can see that I have failed that litmus test.  My particular road is littered with all of the above.  I don’t see them as battle scars, so much as evidence of either rank stupidity (14 years of out-of-control drinking, for example) or the wisdom of putting my heart on the line.  Doing that was when I came out 27 years ago and fell in love with my beautiful wife, Pam.  It was also when I crashed through my fears to adopt our two daughters.  More than “the enormous freedom that can come with why” those were about the  freedom that came with “why not?”  or “yes.”

Saturday I went into my studio with dancer and long time friend Pamela Newell to do some Authentic Movement.  At the end of one time of moving, I found myself lying on the floor, holding my heart.  To me, it felt as if my heart, bruised and  cupped, had migrated to the outside of my chest, and that my hands were needed to keep it from falling away from me.  I knew that movement and the image were connected to my absent, estranged daughter.  Embodying that allowed me both to feel it that hurt and to release it.

Have I felt like giving up?  Of course.  Does that feel like the “limiting power of self-preservation?”  It does.  My broken heart requires me to keep opening, loving, praying.  Not asking “why” – which in this situation creates more suffering – but rather what am I being asked to do, and how shall I do it.  And in those questions I find the freedom to imagine, to dream, to hope.