Category Archives: improvisation life

come fly with me

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I spent all of last week on Martha’s Vineyard working with Jacob and his parents, Jo-Ann and Derrill.  Actually, the word is playing.  I am blessed that playing is integral to my work, and the more improvisational and surprising the play, the better the work.

Jacob is autistic.  Rather than buckling down into a behavioral modification or efforting, re-shaping way of working with Jacob, his parents have cultivated a spirit of playful engagement, physical attunement, deep listening, and ever expanding spiritual inquiry in their relationship with their son.

In my interactions with him and with them, my intention is to step into the current of whatever is unfolding in the moment so that I can observe from within that perspective.  i am looking at what is present, what is absent, what is Jacob offering and if and how can we expand upon those themes. I am also asking him every day what it is that he would like us to know.  Jacob is non-verbal, so we all must become adept in listening to cues that come through movement, through stillness, sound, behavior, and a myriad of subtle micro-signals.  The bass note is always love, curiosity and acceptance.

Is it humbling?  Yes. It is also joyful, inspiring, breathtaking.  There are times when I feel that I have swum out of my depth, that I am swallowed in the wild ocean of this mystery that is autism.  In those moments, I always come back to sensing and feeling my own body.  I know how to swim, how to orient, how to get quiet and feel first my heart, then my feet, my breath, and all the space that holds us both.

If there was any one thing that I wanted to share with Jo-Ann and Derrill and anyone else who spends time with Jacob it is that:  let your body be the bell that rings in tune with Jacob’s.  Feel him in you, let his movement, his sound, his stillness light you up, enter you, transform you.  That is truly his gift.  One of so very many yet to be unwrapped.

 

 

 

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surfacing

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The intentional pause helps us to feel into the whole bodily, sensory landscape of where we are.   It is a way of coming to the surface, coming up for air.  It is about being in the midst of doing.  This fall, as the light faces more each day, as the colors leave the trees, I have been pausing a lot.  I want to breathe in the glory.  I also want to feel myself more fully.

During the past two years, I have been studying Somatic Experiencing – a profound and embodied method of working with the ways in which our bodies hold our histories.  It is “a potent psychobiological method for resolving trauma symptoms and relieving chronic stress.with old patterns of behavior, of bodily holding and reactivity in ourselves and in others.”

What this work is giving me are other ways of “surfacing,”  of swimming out of the waves of worry, preoccupation, and bodily constriction.  What I like about it is that it is a way of embodying more deeply the practice of pausing, of stopping and orienting outwardly and inwardly more fully.  It helps me notice when I am activated, when something has landed in me creating a cross-current of tension and holding.  It is a powerful and elegant way to breathe, to open.

I am integrating this work onto my somatic movement therapy practice with individuals and into my creative work.  For more information, contact me here.

 

 

young & wise

DSC02980The cast of Circo Folle at Roger Williams University, 10/25/14

These are the young women who make up the cast of the dance I have been making at RWU.  They are all younger than some of the costumes they are wearing, pulled out of my costume archive.  They are younger than my daughters.  They are bright, eager, fierce, wild and curious.  Working with them is pure joy.  Thank you (clockwise from right bottom row)  Cassie, Alexis, Michelle, Heather, Leora, Jess, Erika, Lauren, Ally.  Keep moving, keep feeling, trust yourselves, love yourselves.

the receptive body

 

I am no longer swimming.  October, and the nights have dropped into the 30’s.  Lakes and pools are hovering around 60 — too cold for even a quick dip.  Besides, I swim to luxuriate, to open, to lengthen, to receive.  As best I can, I am cultivating a receptive body.

Yesterday in my studio, in my body, I was watching a DVD of Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen exploring in movement the relationship among kidneys, uterus, bladder and ureters.  Each one of those organs has a quality of mind and movement that is unique, and the orchestration of those parts is a continually shifting and expanding improvisational dance.  As I moved with Bonnie, and then on my own, I thought about the time it takes to open, to sense and feel in this way, and how doing that nourishes and expands everything else.

What I mean is this:  the receptive body is also the vulnerable body.  The receptive body is also the relational body.  What is missing in a lot of the conversations about vulnerability and courage (Brene Brown) and living your dreams (Oprah) is the body.  The body in the sense of an ongoing, exploratory, improvisational, playful, listening relationship with oneself.

How do we discover that without being a dancer or a yogi?  What is a simple way of entering those waters?  My friend and colleague is the composer Pauline Oliveros.  Her life practice, Deep Listening, is listening to everything all of the time, and noticing when we are not doing that.  Deep feeling, or deep sensing is about attuning to the inner and outer landscapes of the body and its relationship to what surrounds us.

Begin here:  practice the intentional pause.  Whether you are eating breakfast, or diapering an active 21 month old child – pause.  Take 5 or more seconds to notice what you feel with all of your senses.  Do you feel the shape of the keyboard keys beneath your fingers?  The soft warmth of the baby’s skin?  The soft channel of breath entering your body?  The unseen space behind you, the rush of a truck passing by?  Just notice.  Let yourself take that in.  Then go on.  Pause often, throughout the day, an unexpected moments.  Catch yourself off-guard.  Pause mid-action.  As if you were a dry sponge, imagine your tissues – all of them – expanding and opening to the waters of that moment.  Receive.