My friend Suzanne sent me this link for a beautiful, troubling film about adoption. Through much of it I could not breathe. I could feel through the young Russian girl in the film back into my daughter when she was newly here. Behind those eyes and the smile, is a world of unspoken, unexpressed hurt and loss. Sometimes that hurt and loss does not erupt until many, many years later, when you think, “We did it. She is safe. All is well.” As we are learning, the unconscious and the old traumas can explode like a tsunami across what had looked like a beautiful, relatively peaceful landscape. My heart ached for these kind, good-hearted, naive parents. Many people have asked me about how I feel about adoption now. Different, I say. Would I do anything differently? No, I would not.
Dec2