Earlier this week we headed from Aquinnah to Menemsha to have dinner with our friend Lisa Randall.  On our way, we came across a HUGE snapper walking right down the middle of  Moshup Trail.  We pulled over, followed by another car, and then about five more.  The turtle was tall on its legs, a beautiful primeval being with a magnificent head.  He (or she) moved over to the side of the rode and strode  along toward the marsh ignoring all its admirers and would-be saviors and finally slid into the deep weeds.  I don’t think I have ever wanted to use the words “self-possessed” or “self-contained” about a turtle, including the big tortoises in the Galapagos. This one was.

Back in early June, we had six big mama snappers wade up to our house from the pond below and lay eggs in our lawn and gardens.  In the seven years we have been here, this was a first.  We checked online and found that in 55 days they would hatch – roughly around the end of July.  The end of July came and went, and we saw no babies.  When we came back from our trip to the Vineyard I checked the pool filters.  In the baskets were twenty-five dead baby snappers.  I was inconsolable, devastated.

After last night’s big, wild rain, I had a strong urge to check, and sure enough, there were seven babies – all alive!  I released them into the pond, and watched them swim away.  Then just as we were about to sit down for breakfast, I felt called to check again and sure enough and there were six more!  All alive and ready to go.  It rained and we checked again.  This time just one, still in the grass.

I don’t understand why these mamas would lay their eggs above a saltwater pool.  Never mind.  We looked up turtle medicine, both positive and contrary.  I figured that so many dead babies meant there was some contrary turtle medicine at work.  Here is what it said:  “Mother Earth is calling you to reconnect in some way.” Turtles and tortoises are symbols of the great goddess, the great mother, of primordial waters, descent into the underworld, fertility and creativity.  I think that with the excruciating situation with my daughter, I have been feeling maternally unhinged, scorched, shattered.  These turtles are calling me back to my own waters, to the depths. The big guy on the Vineyard spoke about steadfastness, persistence and unflappability.  The mamas are about love (and miscalculation).  Actually, it is all about love, every time.