Brandi Rivera riding Sanne; Photo by Jeffrey Anderson

Day 3 of the Aikido and horsemanship clinic with Mark Rashid in New Hampshire.  It is interesting to me how “Abrahamic” this work is.  By that I mean, Mark is continually reminding us to focus not on the problem, but on what we want.  This from Abraham:

Anytime you feel negative emotion, stop and say: Something is important here; otherwise, I would not be feeling this negative emotion. What is it that I want? And then simply turn your attention to what you do want. . . . In the moment you turn your attention to what you want, the negative attraction will stop; and in the moment the negative attraction stops, the positive attraction will begin. And—in that moment—your feeling will change from not feeling good to feeling good. That is the Process of Pivoting.

So today, instead of focusing on the discombobulated feeling in the downward transition from canter to trot, he asked me to picture the transition I wanted, including breathing, and feeling the rhythm of going from a three-beat gait to a two-beat.  After a few times, I could feel the ease and flow of that transition beginning to come through.  He also pointed out that I had been doing “my” transition, not “our” transition, meaning Sanne’s and mine.  When I shifted mentally and physically to blend with Sanne, things began to open.

I think that is a problem with a lot of riding (and relationships in general).  We are doing our ride, and the horse, the softness, the harmony, the opening is either absent or inconsistent.  Mark teaches that consistency leads to dependability, which creates trustworthiness, leading to peace of mind and finally softness.  THAT is the training pyramid that I want to pay attention to.  Aikido is teaching me more about flexibility, awareness and also about developing fluidity and even-mindedness in my responses to whatever arises.  This morning, I was stiffening my arms to protect my shoulder.  I found that if I softened, I was far less likely to get hurt, and that it also began to dissolve that habitual fear-based reaction.

Here is what I want:  to be a helpful, soft, consistent, even-minded, kind, connected, joyful rider, lover, mother, friend, being.  Is that too much to ask?  I think not!