I am reading Andrew Solomon’s extraodinary book, Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity.  In the chapter on autism, a mother says to her husband that after parenting a severely autistic child for many years, she feels that they have less of each other than they did earlier in their marriage.Having witnessed a marriage that holds a severely autistic child, I can see how that could be true.  I can see how it could be true of any relationship.  I can also see other choices.

What I know is that the option to have less is always available.  In the movie Thelma and Louise, either Thelma or Louise say,”You get what you settle for.”  A little indifference here, some carelessness there, a sprinkle of cruelty, a dash of envy and pretty soon you are settling for less and less.

I like the other option.  I like finding new ways to appreciate, looking for more opportunities to savor and bask.  New ways to breath in and out with the aliveness of what lives between us.  Not just on love day, but every day.