Today was the first day that we went out and actually looked at houses.  We think that we may have found something.  Our new nest, our Wild Rose Farm or maybe Red Barn Farm.  It is substantially smaller than where we are now and needs some serious work and studio work space built for both of us, but there is something quite magical about it, a feeling that this place is close to, or maybe even is, what we are hoping to find.

As I have been thinking about this move and dreaming my way into the  change, the word “closer” keeps coming up.  I am not sure what it means.  This house is in fact farther from the horses, farther from a lot of the places we love, like Rhinebeck, New York.   The closer that I am feeling has to do with a certain kind of cosiness, a physical closeness that can escape us in a bigger house.  I think I am also looking for a sense of authenticity.  Again, I am not sure what that means.  A place that feels grounded, rooted, earthed.

Home is important to me.  I know that there is a current fascination with a nomadic, AirBNB existence.  That holds no interest for me.  Maybe it is that I have absolutely no air in  my astrological chart.  I need the grounding and the holding of my home.  I have kids.  I have animals.  I want my nest.  What that nest looks like has mostly been pretty expansive.  So moving into a very small, very old yet charming house would be a big, strange change.  And yet. . .

So today feels as if it has brought us closer to the next step, closer to an acceptance of that step, and closer to a picture of the future.  Every move that we have made in the past has been driven by a certain necessity.  And I don’t mean having to move, but rather being moved to move by a sense of where life was carrying us and being willing to follow that current.

Here is something I learned from Abraham about current.  You can swim very hard upstream, battle against the current (I did that a lot when I was younger and more foolish) but that current will carry you downstream anyway.  Upstream is the past.  Downstream is the future.  Might as well let yourself be carried.